Tuesday, February 24, 2009

all that remains...

evening is the perfect time for quite contemplation. with the sun just starting to slide down the horizon..the trees and grass glinting with a golden hue..the birds singing the day's goodbye to the sun...ah. nothing makes you feel as happy and content as a perfect evening does.
it is in this setting, sitting in the porch am writing this short love story.

girl meets the boy on whom she had a school time crush, after a very long time. all her feelings are rekindled.she chats with him through sms. they flirt.she proposes and he accepts. what next??

nothing exactly happens. no butterflies in their stomach. no wings sprouting on their shoulders. no thrills and no discoveries. they go through regular motions of life. nothing at all changes in their respective worlds because of each other.

the constant messaging and hours of yakking in the phone all vanishes after the first six months. she doesn't miss him when he goes out of town. and similarly, no time was wasted by him longing for her when she isn't in town.

no love poems, no whimsical gifts, no romantic duets...or rather, no romance at all. nothing reminds her of him and his mind remembers her only when it is the time to call her. a 30 minute call at the end of the day is what their quality time boils down to. a mere reporting of the days activities and a quick outline of tomorrows expected activities, a conditioned reflex of 'i love you. bye and take care.' all that they become to each other is a planner...not even a human diary,where you share your most intimate thoughts.

the girl gets bored. she starts feeling that this placid relationship isn't what she expected. a feeling of discontent settles in. her fiery nature and passion for life has by now slowly frizzled away...tempered down by his non committal, calm and indifferent attitude. she initially felt that he would be a stable rock for an impulsive butterfly like her. he was exactly that rock,except that he never offered that butterfly a place to rest.

she wanted to leave, but his name on her lips which alone constantly reminded her of him, stopped her. they went through a lot of ups and downs together. she made a thousand trips to the temple for his sake. he counseled her at the time of her distress. slowly, when she started to accept him for what he is and the relationship for what it was, he left.

out of the blue, he hit her over the head with an 'i want out'. she cried, begged, threatened and finally accepted. bade him goodbye. the first few days were hell for her. she couldn't digest it because he left her just like that...without even giving her a reason. 'i just couldn't go on. am out of love' was all he said. but then, slowly she started waking up to the fact that she isn't missing him at all.

nothing reminded her of him. love songs were just as enjoyable.the world which she left behind for him embraced her back...and that world now jolted her senses. her sense of feeling alive peaked like never before. small small surprises which life dishes out to everyone on a daily basis, but sadly ignored by the multitude, thrilled her.

the gray which had dulled her life started creeping away. a process of self discovery began. all the curses and wrath which she mentally spewed on him every night slowly started vanishing. she realized that this too is a lesson in her life and he too has enriched it in his own way.

now, all that remains of that relationship is his name on her lips...sans any feelings. another conditioned reflex.


Subash said...

beautiful post.. i bet this s ur best yet...so rich in realistic romanticism and a hard take on contemporary affairs aka love stories found commonly in our campuses... she realized that this too is a lesson in her life and he too has enriched it in his own way.... <<<< simply superb lines. keep it up yaar

aswin jayaraman said...

Well,I know every bit of this post brims with emotion.What more can I say,'A really touching narrative'.Cheers.

gomathi said...

i think i know this feeling . you experience a unique lesson , then understand it .. realize its not that unique but one worth the time that you spent learning it ! then u let it out .. Love is a good teacher ! and u ve just written down one of its lessons as it should be told. no wrath. no dejection. no end of the world. and no meek blaming of fate. this is how the teacher would ve wanted his sermon to be perceived !
nice one

N said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
N said...

all that they become to each other is a planner... That's one of the saddest lines I've read. Only too happy that she is back to her dynamite self.

My dictionary gives this as the first meaning for 'committed': Bound or obligated. I feel the question 'Are you committed or single?' must be rephrased to 'Are you committed or independent?' It also gladdens the heart to see that her ink flows freely again, with three articles in three successive days. May her live the life she loves, may her find her Mr Right!